My dumb blonde moment of the day.

I dilated a prosthetic eye. That's correct boys and girls, I put dilating drops in someone's artificial eye. I mean, what the hell! Okay, so here's how the story goes down.

This guy was my last patient of the day and looking at his age, 33, I thought "hey, this will be easy as pie." Its not like I'm taking back an 80 year old or anything. I flipped back through his chart and it said he had a retinal detachment. Okay, no big deal. So, I brought back this dude and he was wearing specs. So I wasn't paying attention to his right eye. I knew from his last visit he had no light perception to that eye, couldn't read the acuity with that eye, no depth perception, only could do the color blind test with one eye. So, I asked him to push his chair back against the wall so I could check his vision. My dumb ass self asked him to cover his right eye, and he said "seriously." Of course there was no need for him to cover that eye because HE CAN'T SEE OUT OF IT. I just told him "sorry, that comment was out of habit."

Looking at him, I couldn't really tell if it was a prosthetic eye. I knew that it looked funny but I wasn't going to ask. I already made a fool of myself asking him to cover his bad eye. I mean, the dude had mobility in that eye!

Anway, I went to take him back to the exam room and I didn't dilate him. I told Dr. Beck that I didn't because he wasn't last time. Still, not knowing that it was an artificial eye. He told me to go ahead since he had a history of a retinal detachment. So, I took my ass to his room and told him that I was going to dilate him. He said, "okay." I put drops in both eyes. I bet that poor guy that I was an absolute MORON! Anyway, Beck was reviewing his chart before going in and it turned out that he had a prosthetic eye. I felt like a dumb ass. He just laughed. Actually, everyone in the office laughed at me. I don't blame them. I mean, who in the hell dilates someone with a prosthetic eye? No one, except for Jennifer Kinard.

I have to admit that I've had several "dumb blonde moments" in my life. I will share a few.

Sophomore year in high school, my two best friends, Summer and Leigh went to Grenada to have dinner. The waiter came by to take our order. And the guy asked me "super salad"...at least that's what I thought he said. I looked at him and was like what. He said "super salad." Again, thinking he was saying this. I looked at Summer and she said "sup-er-salad" and I said "Is that like a really big salad?" We all cracked up! It was so funny. All three of us were laughing until we were crying. I seriously thought he was saying "super salad" instead of "soup or salad."

Summer of my senior year, I got a new car, Hyundia Elantra...woo-hoo. Leigh and I were driving back to her house from town (she lived, well still does, out in the country) and I was driving exactly 55 mph. She told me, "Why don't you drive at least 60 mph?" My bright self says, "I don't want to add extra miles to my car." Yelp, I said that. Leigh starts laughing and says, "You goober, your going to drive the same amount of miles whether you drive 55 or 100." Classic!

I have several more, but I don't want you to think I'm an absolute moron. Those are just a couple of good ones. Now, I can add my incident from today.

I hope you enjoyed my embarrassment. That will go down in my history book of "Walk of shame."